Is it Postpartum Depression or the Patriarchy?
Is it Postpartum Depression or the Patriarchy?
First and foremost - this blog is NOT clinical advice nor is it intended to minimize PMADS or maternal mental health. In fact, it is to strengthen this conversation, expand it and bring more attention to it, from all disciplines and providers who work with Mothers.
As professionals who support mothers, we’re no strangers to the complexities of motherhood. But in our work, it’s essential to draw a clear line between the clinical condition of postpartum depression (PPD) and the more subtle, yet profound impact of patriarchal structures on mothering. These two issues often overlap, yet they come from very different places. Understanding the difference can help us better support mothers in both the healing and the reshaping of their motherhood experiences.
What is Postpartum Depression? : A Clinical Struggle
Postpartum depression is real, and it’s a serious mental health condition that affects many mothers after childbirth. Unlike the “baby blues,” which typically last for a few days to a week, PPD can linger for months and is marked by symptoms such as:
Persistent sadness or hopelessness
Extreme fatigue or lack of energy
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Difficulty bonding with the baby
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
Thoughts of harming oneself or the baby
These symptoms can significantly impact a mother’s ability to function day-to-day. Postpartum depression is often linked to hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the immense stress of adjusting to new motherhood, but it can also be triggered or exacerbated by lack of support, isolation, and societal pressures to be a “perfect” mother.
As professionals, we know that PPD is treatable. Therapy, medication, and a strong support system are key to helping mothers recover. The journey through PPD often involves not just healing but also a deep re-evaluation of what motherhood is supposed to look like and a reimagining of self-worth outside of societal expectations.
Patriarchal Motherhood: The Weight of Unrealistic Expectations
Now, let’s talk about something less often discussed but just as impactful: the effects of patriarchy on motherhood. Patriarchal systems don’t just affect women’s rights and opportunities; they infiltrate the very fabric of motherhood. The expectations placed on mothers in a patriarchal society are so deeply ingrained that many mothers don’t even realize they’re being weighed down by them. This can create feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and self-doubt, but it’s not a “mental illness” in the clinical sense—it’s the pressure to be everything to everyone, all the time.
In a patriarchal society, motherhood is often idealized in a way that diminishes the complexity and reality of it. Mothers are expected to be self-sacrificing, endlessly patient, and constantly available, all while managing a household, maintaining relationships, and in many cases, working outside the home. When mothers can’t meet these impossible standards, it often leads to feelings of failure. This isn’t just personal failure; it’s a systemic one.
Patriarchal motherhood also tends to isolate mothers, positioning them as the sole caregivers and emotional caretakers, without much room for sharing the burden. Mothers are told to prioritize their children above all else, which means their own needs—mental, emotional, and physical—are often pushed aside. This creates a toxic cycle of self-neglect, which can lead to burnout, resentment, and even anger.
While the impact of patriarchal motherhood doesn’t always manifest as depression, it can certainly contribute to feelings of alienation, frustration, and burnout. The strain it places on a mother’s sense of self can make her question her worth, her choices, and her ability to “do it all.”
So, How Do These Two Things Differ?
Postpartum depression is a mental health condition that can and should be treated with clinical care. It’s rooted in biological, psychological, and environmental factors that impact a mother’s mental health after childbirth. In contrast, the pressure of patriarchal motherhood is a societal issue—one that affects many mothers even if they’re not clinically depressed.
The key difference is that PPD requires medical intervention, while patriarchal pressures need societal change. That said, both can contribute to a mother feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, or disconnected from herself. Recognizing the difference helps us as professionals avoid conflating mental health issues with systemic oppression, and it allows us to address both with the sensitivity they deserve.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
The Bottom Line
As professionals, it’s important to understand that postpartum depression and the impact of patriarchal motherhood are distinct but often interconnected experiences. While PPD requires clinical treatment, the pressures of patriarchal motherhood demand societal change. Both deserve our attention, empathy, and action. By supporting mothers in both their mental health and their efforts to resist oppressive systems, we can help create a world where motherhood is experienced with more joy, less shame, and a lot more support.
Learn More and Get Involved
Professionally: The Matricentric Way is leading this paradigm shift - it truly is expanding the conversation on maternal mental health. If you are a professional that supports Mothers, I invite you to enroll in The Matricentric Way, either LIVE or self-paced. Join this movement today so that we can transform not only the lives of the individual Mothers we support, but the greater collective of Mothers.
Personally: The Becoming Mama course is available self-paced for any Mother within her first 7 or so years postpartum, interested in learning more about her matrescence AND the impact of Patriarchal Motherhood on her experience of being a Mother. (NOTE: this is NOT a substitute for clinical therapy NOR is it recommended to treat maternal mental health challenges. Consult your therapist for any mental health concerns.)
